Will I create?

According to most popular literature and media, you are supposed to strengthen your will so that you can create “whenever you want”. At a first glance this might sound good. It is true that will goes through levels of complexity as we grow; a two year-old’s will is rather differently expressed than most adults’.
I think most people struggle with the idea of “willing” one’s art though. Still, articles talk about attitudes, practices and tools, trying to make you more creative (like this blog for example…). This is an attempt to exercise or force your will.

There is some truth to the befits of those ideas, but I wanted to inquire a little more deeply into what will is. But what else is there than just seemingly forcing oneself into action?

Will is often portrayed as a kind of freedom-tool; you are not bound to circumstances; you can do what you want, providing your will is developed enough. Will, then feels like something outside of you that you have to master in order to keep yourself in control. I often hear about the “will to succeed”, to go for what you want, or even the will to be free or the will to love.

Sure. You have to sometimes “will yourself” to pay the bills and do the boring day to day stuff. I have to will myself in some ways to write this article. But we see then that will is actually not about freedom but about a kind of control:
We have a set goal; an agenda that is about one way, one path. Having goals is healthy, but it is interesting that we assume that stronger will (stronger boundaries) equals more freedom, when in fact it mostly refers to a very specific attitude.

Free will?

For example, what would happen if we don’t “will” ourselves all the time? What would happen if we don’t have to know everything every second? What would happened if you let things be exactly as they are, changing by itself, moment to moment?

Most would react and say that would be a disaster. “I might run wild on the streets, biting tires if I did not control myself!”
We control our assumptions even if we don’t know if they are true or not. We frighten ourselves with unlikely catastrophe-scenarios that could happen IF we don’t follow the control. – Sounds a bit like our parents, right?
Control is mostly not something that others do to us. We control ourselves with our own will. It is interesting considering many talk about free will.

Fear of absolute freedom

I believe that we fear having total freedom, because that would mean (to most people) that we would have to do everything ourselves; nothing would be handed or served to us. We fear we would be alone at the top, having to make sure anything happens at all, and no one would help us. Perhaps even feeling the fear of being abandoned by God now when you can do it all by yourself? But being independent all the time; being free to do whatever you want, and being in no one else’s control, are in fact what most people strive for. And I believe that this strive is not balanced, creating a huge pressure on ourselves, not knowing where to go; there seem to be only two options: massive success or massive failure.

So, most of us continue to play the game of idealizing freedom and willpower, in reality not wanting it, but fearing the opposite more. I also think we confuse free will with “feeling good”. And people feel good for very different reasons.
The freedom ideal is really only keeping ourselves where we are at for fear of the unknown. We don’t really know what will is, but rather follow some, mostly cultural concepts, that we then equate with will. But that is not free will, it is just a bunch of set rules you probably don’t even agree with.

Separation?

We think we have to do something in order to be here. We believe we have to “will ourselves” in order to have some value at all. But this act is actually what separates us more and more; if you believe that you have to will yourself out of your present situation, you are in fact only reinforcing your belief that you are not connected and valuable.

There is great confusion about will because on the one hand we often hear that you have to be independent and take care of everything yourself, but on the other hand we all know that we need others to do anything at all (try having babies on your own…). We are in fact here together, but it does seem like being independent is being on your own.

And if you argue the opposite, saying there is no point in doing anything at all, you are then caught in another more subtle concept, slightly biased towards everything being hopeless and desperate. Believe me, this is a kind of will as well, keeping you in one place. And it usually does not make you feel that great either.

Will has a lot of ideas on how you should behave and look, what to say and like, etc. I’m sure you have experienced being sad, and at the same time feeling your emotions are not appropriate. I’m sure you have been sick, and at the same time really upset about not having your full strength.
Thus, your will is not letting you be; you want to be something else. Sometimes even you want to be somewhere else entirely. In any case, all these ideas are basically saying you are not free and valuable; you are separate from nature. (God, universe, consciousness, Gaia, love, earth etc.)

Universal will

Let’s get back to the idea of not knowing. What would happen if you let yourself totally be? (not just giving up on it all…) Would you just fall apart not being able to do anything? Would you still think and feel, would your heart beat, would your body still function? Would you be able to walk, or even drive a car? Would you be able to create?

In fact, are you truly in control?
No matter your will, the world still happens, your body is still changing. Was it your will to be born and to eventually die?
Is art really a result of strong will? I see art as a side-effect rather than a result. Most artists have the experience of “starting to create”, but not being in much control beyond that. You don’t create art, it is already here. Rather, you notice art. You create perspectives of art, both as a creator and spectator.

Have you ever noticed that when you create something, art is more something that seems to happen in front of you? Sure, you have some specific tools; you might have a specific form, but usually the process of art takes over after a while. Suddenly you don’t seem to be the master anymore, but rather the spectator. Art is happening through you, and you don’t know what will happen. Often the end result is quite different than what you might have intended initially.

I recommend looking at some true masters of art to see that they are not “willing” their art in the sense that will has been popularized nowadays. Look at videos of Picasso painting for example. Look at artists who are improvising. The guitarist Pat Metheny talks about “sitting back and listening” to himself as he plays; he is a creator and spectator at the same time.
These artists, in their better moments, neither try nor want to predict the end result.

Even artists who really try to be the same, for example symphony orchestras who do everything they can in terms of quenching every spark of creativity by playing exactly the same way every time, having the same clothes and playing in the same places, do still experience variations of their art that they can’t predict.

How have you noticed universal will creating through you? A good way is to try a form until it evolves itself. For example, how long can you play the same kind of rhythm or scale on the piano until it changes by itself, without you consciously trying to change it? You can try the same idea with any art: Pick a specific form and see how long it takes for it to change by itself. You’ll probably enjoy yourself more too.

Cheers! photo credit