Enhance your art and your sex-life.

This is not a just cheesy title to make you read this post. I’m deadly serious.
But I’m happy it caught your eye because you will learn something here that most people don’t know. You might have intuited what I’m about to talk about but this is not exactly something taught in school.

But first an apology. This article only applies to men’s practice.
But wait, even though you are a woman this knowledge is very useful for you as you will see later. So don’t skip out on this chance to understand men better

I know many people will find this article “out there” perhaps even offensive. But I think people could really use this information so I will do this for the good of human kind and suffer the consequences.

Ok, ready?
Did you know that ejaculation will decrease your creative performance? Not just a little, but a whole lot. If you ejaculate often, you can forget about being productive or creative. Well, “creating children” is very productive obviously but I’m talking about creativity that does not involve making babies.

I have always wondered about this and it took me a while to find out anyone who was willing to share this information. Partially because I was brought up in Sweden.

Sweden? The country of open sexuality?
Yes, I know the myth and it is as untrue as any other myth about other countries. I have lived in a few countries and I totally disagree with that Swedes are more open to sexuality than other earthlings. No way!
But, the point is that Sweden has (at least had…) a very liberal sexual education if you compare to most countries. This is a great thing. But, I did not learn about the current topic in Sweden though.

It is not really a critique against the Swedish education because we need that kind of openness more in the world. But I don’t agree with the over-emphasis that everything is OK. I know that is slightly generalized because of course the Swedish general sexual education does not think that everything is OK.
But their idea is that you should not be ashamed of yourself, learning about yourself. I agree with that too.

But I wished someone would have told me what ejaculation really means and what it does to your body instead of just saying “don’t worry, do it as much as you want.” I wish I knew that moderation in this “practice” is a really good idea. Every day is not a good idea, or even every other day for that matter. I would say closer to once a month is a better idea.
Please, I don’t mean to scare anyone that it is unhealthy. No, It is safe, you are made for it. I believe in encouragement. But I also think awareness is very important.

I wish I knew that ejaculating means your body cares MORE about the “possible baby” than “you” and will take the best of what you have in terms of nutrition and energy and send it away…
This is a good, natural thing and I don’t want people to be afraid of ejaculating. But you should think about doing it too often because it drains you. It drains your sexual drive, inspiration, life-force and creativity. You are giving this energy away. Yes, to a good cause but perhaps a waste if your intention is not to make babies.

I wish someone would have taught me that orgasm and ejaculation is not the same thing.
Ejaculation is, simply put, a physical spasm that robs you of all your energy in order to make babies. An orgasm is a deep experience, body and mind included, shared with another person.

So, how it this knowledge useful?
You could think ahead and “plan” your sex-life a little so that you don’t “do it” the night before the gig. Some artists already know of this. They know it is not a good idea to have sex before the concert or lots of it when you try to finish a book for example.

Skipping sex is no fun.
Not having sex, is one approach. But why not learn not to ejaculate? No need to stop having sex.
I know for many men this sounds impossible and weird because we think orgasm and ejaculation is the same thing. But it isn’t.An orgasm gives you energy. Most men only feel the effect of the ejaculation and it is short compared to women’s orgasms that are much longer. The biggest reason it feels so good for men is because we carry a lot of stress and worries and an ejaculation takes “everything” away for a while because your energy is depleted. All your energy, worries and stress seem to melt away. But so does your creativity as well.
This is one of the reasons that ejaculation is so addictive; we can forget and fall asleep for a moment. I totally support this and I think we should not blame men for “falling asleep”.
But why not get energy from your love-making that will actually inspire you to continue the day (or night)?

Orgasms don’t deplete your energy.
The act of love-making is something you share with someone. It is a chance to connect deeper with someone else. That is difficult if just want to zone-out.
I’m not someone who thinks men are worse than women or the other way around. And I don’t enjoy bashing men in way that has been popular for the last 40 years. So this is not about blaming anyone. But most boys have been taught about sex through masturbation only. Most men have sex in the same way they masturbate in order to ejaculate. Mostly because we don’t know better, women included.

Women on the other hand, as far as I know, don’t seem to lose energy. They gain energy when they have an orgasm. You might think that is unfair but remember women have to live with their menstruation that happens about once a month. An interesting thing is that a man who is over 25 feels tired and irritated after the ejaculation about the same way as a woman having her period. It is just that men and women tend to react differently to the “depleting feeling”.

I propose that you as a man learn to come about as often as a woman has her period and that you learn to have an orgasm the same way she does.
Every man I know who has mastered this is very happy with the result and they all say that they feel more energy and a bigger sex-drive.
And you can even have several orgasms without feeling tired and depleted. I know you might think it sounds ridiculous. You try what makes sense to you of course.

Ejaculation is not a huge problem when you are young because your body replenishes your energy really quickly. But the older you get the slower it goes. When you are about 30 it takes more than a week to get all your energy back to where it was. You can add about a week for every 10 years after that.
Despite this fact, I think it is good for all men to learn this. The younger you are, the easier it is to learn and also not such a big deal when you can’t hold it.

If you are over 25 and you “come” every other day or more, you are a zombie. You are in fact, no joke, shortening your life. Well, nature wants you to sacrifice yourself in order to continue the species but maybe you don’t have to do that anymore if your intent is not to make babies? Maybe your art can be your “children” instead? At least you have a choice.

Benefits:
I think it is fairly obvious by now but let’s write them up so that it is clear:

• You will have a bigger sex drive.
• Challenges don’t seem so overwhelming.
• Eye-sight dramatically improved. In fact all senses are improved.
• There is less need to just “zone-out” all the time.
• Less moodiness. You’ll be less irritated by everyone.
• You have much more energy. I mean, much more energy.
• You won’t fall asleep next to your woman. I’m sure most ladies will highly appreciate this.
• You won’t use your partner as a tool for getting rid of your stress.
• You will start to focus on giving your partner from the depth of your heart.
• You won’t wake up late in the morning, wondering what happened will all your energy.
• You will need less sleep.
• You won’t need that extra coffee in order to “function”.
• You will feel more alive and alert and ready to take on the next project.

To women who are reading this:
I understand it can be frustrating for women who feel their men just care about themselves as they fall asleep next to them. But I want women to understand as well that men don’t do this just because they are ”jerks”. Ejaculating is no small thing for a man and it is not the same experience as for a woman. It is actually a “little death” because he is giving his life for the creation of a new life. He loses that life and I think this is one out of many reasons that men live shorter than women. It is actually a sacrifice.

So don’t judge him too hard next time. Especially if he is trying to learn the technique of having orgasms instead of ejaculating, because that is not an easy task for everybody.

If you want to learn more about this I recommend the book “the multi orgasmic man” by Mantak Chia or most books by David Deida. Many Kama Sutra texts deal with this as well.

Would be great fun to see comments about this one… Tell me your experience   – or if you disagree with me or think I’m nuts.

Cheers!

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• Singing meditation
• Your true voice?
• Turn your distractions off!

About Samuel Törnqvist